Sunday, March 27, 2011

The Weekend is Almost Over *Sigh*

I sure wish weekends didn't go so fast.

This morning G had to go tend to some work stuff - he started his own company about a year ago - so I'm just taking it easy, curling up on the couch with my little dog and reading a book because the weather sucks but it's really beautiful out.

Yesterday I went to my parents place to visit my dad and to make them a healthy supper. He seems to be doing pretty good, he hasn't gained any weight back but nor has he lost anymore.

This past week was his week off chemo so he's had a better week this week but tomorrow he's back on chemo for another two weeks. I really hope he's not getting discouraged though because he made a comment to me yesterday that makes me think that he's not as positive as he was at the start of his chemo three weeks ago. I do believe that he is reevaluating some things, which could be a good thing because he's picking up the things he use to love to do many, many years ago and doing them again but he's also been fixing things too so I'm not too sure what that all about.

Right now he's been getting back into building his model boats - very time consuming but they look awesome!! He also loves playing around with his model trains but he doesn't have them set up in this house so he decided one night this last week that he's going to set them up again. I think he finds it relaxing and I'd imagine that it gets his mind off of everything.

As for me, AF hasn't been very nice to me lately. She came on the 10th and now she's back again. I think it's because when I did my last FET my RE moved her up from the end of the month to the beginning so I think I'm going to go back on BCP. This way I can regulate her and hopefully control my endo a little. Should I call my RE and tell him, probably, but I think I would just be wasting time waiting to hear back from him only to hear that he wants to put me on BCP... Or should I call my new RE at ORM to see what I should do, gosh I don't know, if anyone wants to comment please do so. I'm open to any suggestions.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

I Can't Believe It!!

I can't believe it, I got home today and checked the mail and there it was, my file from RFP. I only sent the release forms to them on Friday the 18th. Wow, I seriously though that getting my file from them would have been a big struggle because it took them a week to sent a measly 17 illegible pages to ORM via fax.

So I open up the envelope and start reading through my previous IVF cycles. The first page is a letter to my GP that was typed up after our first consult at RFP that stated that a recent ultrasound (u/s) has shown a right Hydrosalpinx... they never mentioned that at our consult!?! As I kept reading it said that "This couple's infertility includes male factor" - is it wrong that I'm secretly happy that it isn't just me? lol Then I keep flipping through the pages and I notice that they didn't include my my chart from cycle one; hmm could that be because they had a question mark on it with the word hydro and they didn't want me to see it?!? Funny because I questioned them on wither or not I may have had a hydro after the first cycle based on what the doctor said at my last u/s before Egg Retrieval (ER) and they denied it. Well lucky me, ORM sent me what they sent them and that page was in there... A holes!! A part of me can't help but think that this could partially be the reason I haven't achieved a BFP yet.

I think what I'm going to do is send the file to ORM in hopes that maybe they can evaluate the entire file and decide wither or not we should do further testing into the hydro. This way I wouldn't be wasting any more time or money on something that won't work because someone couldn't do the proper tests in the first place... Just a little agitated, can ya tell.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Patiently Waiting

Still patiently waiting for my phone consult, man I wish the time would go by faster, I just really want to get things going.

On Sunday G and I went out for dinner with his parents, it was nice except for the fact that we were talking DE all throughout dinner. See, earlier in the day G went to visit them because he had to ask his mom some questions regarding his health history for ORM and of course he had to tell her about what we were planning on doing. I guess it was nice that they are really taking an interest in it but I really didn't want to consume our evening with something I consume most of my day thinking about.

Got the pass ports sent off today, one job done. Now I have to finish filling out the papers and send them off to ORM. Finally after a week and a half my current clinic got back to ORM and sent them my file but they sure didn't care if they could read it. They faxed it to them and the quality is horrid!! So I call the clinic and asked to get a copy of my file, they said it's going to cost me $25.00 for an admin fee plus 0.30 cents per page which she said would cost me approx $70.00... What the!!! I just finished paying like 30k there and they can't give me a copy of my file... what ever!

Still chugging along in the weight loss department .I'm working out every morning and sticking to 1200 calories a day and I haven't lost any more weight since the last time I reported my 2 lbs weight loss. How sad is that! Week 5 here we come...

Monday, March 14, 2011

Tying Up Loose Ends

Nothing new to report as far as are infertility quest goes. Hopefully things will get rolling once we have our phone consult but until then I'll be getting questions together for it, filling out all the paper work for them and renewing our passports.

On the weekend we completed half of our pass port task and got our pictures taken. Oh what fun that was, it's been five and a half years since the first pictures were taken and back then you were at least allowed to smile. Now you can't smile and I had to put my hair behind my ears.  When we got our photos back we went back to the car and I checked them out. First I opened G's, his was in color and he didn't look too bad. Then I opened mine... I look like crap!! it looks like have monkey ears with those ears sticking way out in front of my dark hair. Oh well, it's only a photo that I have to live with for 5 YEARS!!! :(

In Weight loss department I finally lost 2lbs Yay!! Not too bad but I wish I could have lost more. I'd like to be a BMI of 22.7 right now I'm at 27.2. Slow and steady wins the race right?!?

Thursday, March 10, 2011

The Ball is Rolling

I finally called ORM yesterday and I have a phone consult with Dr Hesla on April 7th. I'm really excited to get things started. I think I've chosen a good clinic but I guess we'll soon see. Until then, it's weight loss time!!

So, for the last twelve days I've been eating no more then 1200 calories a day and waking up at 4:30am every morning to go on my Elliptical to have NOT lost one single pound!! I'm sooo pissed right now, this is more effort then I've ever done to not lose a thing... *sight* Could it have been all the IVF meds I've been putting into my body for the past year?!? I just wish I could get my body back to normal and preferably before my DE cycle.

Other news, my dad had his first chemo treatment on Monday the 7th since being diagnosed with unknown primary liver cancer two months ago. He said that he felt a little nauseous in the evening after the treatment but that could have been because he was suppose to start drinking his eight glasses of water right after the treatment, which he didn't until many hours later. I think he learnt his lesson on that one. Today he said he feels good except for some dizziness, which apparently is one of the side effects. I sure hope that he bets this cancer. I just never thought that this would happen to him but who am I kidding, cancer isn't picky. All I can do is hope and pray that he has the strength to get through this.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Long Time Reader, First Time Poster

In 1999 I met the man I was going to marry and start a family with. Much to our dismay it hasn't quite worked out that way. We got to the marriage part but just haven't reached the family part. Prior to all this infertility stuff life was great, we built our first home, moved in and then got our cute little Manchester Terrier all in 2003. All and all life was pretty normal...
and this is where our story begins...

In March 2007 I was diagnosed with stage IV Endometriosis, had surgery, lost my left ovary during the surgery and was told to start TTC as soon as possible.

June 2007, we finally got married after being together for 8 years. It sure did take him long enough to put a ring on it that's for sure.

October 2007, we sold our old home and moved into our new home which we started the building process on in March. The past 7 months had been crazy. I couldn't believe we got through it all in one piece but that was just one of many more to come. What do they say, building a house and getting married are like the number one stressers on a relationship and if you can get through that you can get through anything.

Fast forward to 2011, still nothing in the TTC department.  2 IVF's and 1 FET later with my own eggs, which I might add are very few and far between and the results were negative, negative, negative. So with that said we have come to the decision to move forward using DE.

I'm thinking about going to ORM - Oregon Reproductive Medicine. Right now I think the only thing holding me back is the fear of the unknown. I've done the research and I'm pretty confident in my decision but I just have to get the balls to get the "ball" rolling. Hopefully that will be soon. There could be a little reluctance on my part partially because I'm also dealing with the fact that my dad has been newly diagnoses with cancer which apparently the doctor doesn't think can be cured with Chemo only managed. My dad is my rock, I love him to bits I have no idea how I can do this whole thing without him. I just hope I'll have him around for many more years to come.

OK I hope I haven't bored you all but this is my very first post so be gentle in the comments department.
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