Friday, November 30, 2012


In perpetration of yet another kick at the can I went to have a sonohysterogram done on November 27th, day 10 of my cycle. 

Like always, my uterus was very uncooperative. The initial internal u/s went fine, then the tech left to get the doctor so he could preform the SHG.  The doctor came into the room and prepped me for the procedure to find that my uterus had moved. The tech kept trying to get my uterus to move with little success but much discomfort. Finally the saline was injected - hurt like crazy - then the doctor said that he sees that my lining is jagged. What the heck does that mean!?!?! Seriously though, has anyone  heard of this? Is this bad?

I was told to book a follow up appt with my RE in my hometown in the event that my RE at ORM would want a hysteroscopy done. luckily I was able to score a cancellation for next week and it turns out that my RE at ORM does in fact want me to have a hysteroscopy. Hopefully I'll be able to get in for the procedure soon cause I was hoping to go back to Portland at the end of February. 

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Appt with ORM and RFP

Sorry this is a long post....

I had my WTF appt with Dr H at ORM on Monday of this past week. It went ok. I found out that the embryos they transferred only had a 50% cell survival. I'm kind of pissed that I wasn't told earlier, like when I asked the embryologist how they were and she just said ok and that we don't grade them. Now I know that's not grading and maybe I should have been more specific when I asked but I mean seriously! It just makes me mad that they didn't call me the morning of the transfer to tell me the status of the embryos and I would have told them to thaw more to get a higher quality embryo. It's not like I'm rich and I live in Portland, I do have to travel and have that extra added expense on top of a very expensive procedure. I mean seriously, when is this bad luck of mine going to end!!!

Dr H wasn't sure why the embryos didn't thaw well. He said it was very unusual because we had such high quality blasts before the freeze so he was going to talk to the head of the embryology department. Not sure what will come of that and I'm pretty sure that if they did find out something - like if they screwed up the freezing or the thawing process - they wouldn't be telling me anyway. See what I mean, bad luck!!

I was really wanting to try intralipids and thankfully Dr H said ok but only proving Dr W at RFP was ok prescribing it. So I had to make an appointment and thankfully there was a cancellation and we got in to see him on Thursday of this last week.

----------------------------------------Appointment with RFP-------------------------------------------

The appointment sucked! No intralipids for me. Dr W doesn't feel comfortable prescribing them to me for fear that something could go wrong and then it would have been his fault - I completely understand but it just utterly sucks!!! He also would have no case as to why he used them on me because there is no proven study they actually work and apparently people wouldn't be happy because basically he would be using me as a guinea pig and that is unethical practice - again I totally understand. So it's a big fat NO!

I'm so lost right now, I've done - I think - all the proper immune tests and they've all come back fine so really at the end of the day I guess the intralipids wouldn't really be warranted. And according to Dr W intralipids aren't that safe. They could cause kidney damage or even hepatitis so I guess its really not a good idea. It's just I've seen so many other women use them and then they get pregnant.

So I guess it's alternative medicine for me. I went to my acupuncturist yesterday and she told me about Wobenzym so I'm going to start taking that - its suppose to help with blood flow and balance the immune system. Then she referred me another acupuncturist that does a bio meridian test which shows what my body is lacking and having too much of as far as vitamins and minerals go. It will also say what I need to stay away from as far as food. This could be very helpful as I know some foods could cause people with endometriosis inflammation so maybe if I can basically see for my own eyes the food that I shouldn't be eating - basically the Endo diet I'm sure - then maybe I'd be more inclined to adapt this way of eating before my next FET. The only problem is that appointment isn't until July 28th.

I guess we'll see how things go. In the meantime I'm just trying to pick my feet up from and try and get healthy for my next FET, which I have no clue when it will be.

Sent from my iPad

Friday, June 22, 2012

DE FET #1 - 11dp5dt - It's A Bust!

Well as the title states, this time didn't work out, yet again. 

I'm so sad. My beta today came back at 47 from 70 on Wednesday. So it's going down. This really sucks but I have to say its better then enduring what I went through last time with the Blighted Ovum.

I should be speaking with Dr H sometime next week to figure out our next steps so I'll keep you all posted. Thanks again for your encouraging words.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

DE FET #1 - 10dp5dt

The one that's not labeled is the one that is 10dp5dt, to me it doesn't seem much different then the one labeled 9dp5dt. Thoughts anyone?

I know I really need to stop with these as they really aren't that great of an indication wither my numbers are going up but I can't help but think the worst. :(

Tomorrow is beta #2. I will try hard to be cautiously optimistic that my numbers will double.

Thanks so much everyone for your continued support. It means the world to me.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

DE FET #1 - 9dp5dt - Beta #1 Update

Well the clinic called, my beta was only 70. I'm a little sad but if it doubles for Friday then we should be ok.

I'm just waiting to go in fit my beta, I sure hope my clinic gets the results by 3:30 today or I won't find out until tomorrow.

I decided to do another test today, was kind of worried that the line wouldn't get darker but I think it did but only by a tiny bit.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

DE FET #1 - 8dp5dt

Well I caved, I just couldn't take it anymore. Its Tuesday 5:35am MST and I POAS'd. Do you see the second line? (I hope the pic worked, I used the blogger app) It's not totally dark but it's there. I'm so so so excited!!!

I just pray that my dad is looking down on us and that this one will hang around and my betas double accordingly. Please please please!!!

My beta is tomorrow so hopefully I'll be able to post my number then.

Symptoms thus far: thirsty, slight headache, slight dizziness, hungry oh and gassy :)

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Visited The Cullen's House From The Twilight Saga

Yaaayy!! I can't believe it, I found out that the Cullen house they used in The Twilight Saga was right here in Portland and just 1.6 miles from where we're staying too! As for the reason I came here, no real symptoms other then being very very thirsty again and slight dizziness but I am only 5dp5dt today. I'm going to try hard not to POAS this time. At the very least I may do one on the day of my beta which is on the 20th, so next Wednesday. I pray so hard that this works.

Monday, June 11, 2012

DE FET #1 - Transfer Day

Transfer was at 1:15 day but we had to show up an hour before so I could get acupuncture, which was really nice and relaxing. I need that.

During acupuncture the embryologist came in to say that they had to thaw 4 embryo's to get two good ones. Which kind of sucks but we had 19 to choose from so I can't really complain. Then I kind of sensed that the embryo's weren't as good as they could be so I asked her again if the quality was good and, long story short, she said she'll thaw a few more.

That made me feel a little uneasy but at least she decided to see if she could get better ones. Now we're down to 14 but I ended up asking if we could transfer 3 - only because the quality really wasn't there - and they agreed. I hope I made the right decision, I'm just so scared because the last time we transferred 2 high quality blasts, only one took but then ended up as a blighted ovum or a missed miscarriage.

Other then that, the transfer went very well, according to Dr H. Now all I can do is wait and leave it up to the big guy.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

DE FET #1 - Portland

We landed in Portland at 10:00am yesterday, got in a little shopping then head to the hotel. We were both very exhausted because I think we only had 4 hours of sleep the night before. We did however get in out late night walk down 23rd street.

Today we got up, got ready and headed out for more shopping. Now we're on our way to Lincoln City, to hopefully see the coast and maybe a little outlet shopping.

Tomorrow is the big transfer day. I'm do excited. I pray, like ALL the other times, that this will be our time. God knows its about time something good happens in my life. The past 2 years have been horrible to say the least.

Will try to update tomorrow.

Sent from my iPhone

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Ready To Move Forward

Since my dad’s passing it’s been hard but I think I’m finally ready to move forward with our next kick at the can. We have a tentative date planned for a June 11th transfer, just waiting for confirmation of Dr H’s schedule. I’m so excited to go to Portland, I really do love it there.

Sorry this is such a short post but as soon as I get more information I’ll post more. I just really wanted to get back on here to reconnect with everyone again, I’ve really missed you all!!

Monday, January 9, 2012

The Fight Is Over

Today (January 8th) at 10:55am my dad passed away at the hospice.
Words can't even express how I feel right now. I am however happy that he isn't suffering anymore. Cancer sucks the big one!
Dad, you mean the world to me and I'll never forget you. Rest in peace.
Love you lots
Sent from my iPhone

Sunday, January 8, 2012

December 2011 Recap

I wish I could finally type some good news - this is getting really old - but just when I think things couldn't get any worse I started to pass really big clots starting the evening of the 8th. Then it gradually became worse - if you could imagine - over the next week. Then on the 16th I was able to get into the clinic for an ultrasound because the bleeding/clotting just kept getting worse. After the internal ultrasound It was decided that a D&C would be the best option seeing as I had been bleeding for three weeks already.

Thank god I went in for the D&C on Friday the 16th because after I was out of surgery and back to my room my mom called me to say that my dads blood pressure had dropped to 60 over 40 - hard to believe I know but it's true - and to see if G would mind driving them to the emergency. Once he drove me home he went over to my parents place to drive them to the hospital.

The week of the 19th he was still in there and we had pretty high hopes that he would get out for Christmas but things took a turn for the worst and his blood level started going all over the place again. They had his creatinine down to 243 - which is still high but better then when he came into the hospital at 307 - but then it spiked right up to 347.

On the 28th of December the doctor told the family that there was nothing else they could do for my dad so we have to decide if we could manage to take care of him at home or send him to a Hospice. On December 31st my dad seem to stabilize enough to come home on an day/over night pass to see if we could manage to take care of him on our own. It didn't go so well. In the middle of the night he tried to get up to go to the bathroom but he's legs just stopped working for some reason. He got worse on Sunday morning and basically wasn't talking much so we figured it was probably best that we take him back to the hospital were they could better help him and then we could put his name on the list for a hospice.

Miraculously, on the morning of Tuesday January 3rd 2012 dad started talking and understanding what we were saying to him and he was also responding to our questions a lot quicker. He even had no problem getting up and walking around. I knew he wasn't ever going to get better but it was just nice to be able to have a conversation with him again. I really missed talking to him for those few days.

Thursday January 5th 2012 a bed at one of the better hospices here in Calgary became available and my dad was transported there mid morning. I have to say I'm very sad that we were unable to care for him at home but I believe that he will get the best possible care he needs at the hospice. They have such wonderful nurses that work there. It's a total difference from the hospital. The people there are so kind and caring. They are so gentle with him and talk to him like a person which makes me feel a little better about our decision.

Sent from my iPhone

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