Could It Be Good Luck Or Bad?

All in all I had a pretty good weekend. Saturday I got my blood results back and all the levels turned out to be good. The nurse thought that even though everything looked good I should still come in to see Dr. W on Tuesday (today).

Sunday was also good, woke up late, lounged on the couch with a coffee for a few hours and then went to get ready to go out to visit G's grandparents. As I'm putting my make-up stuff away I accidentally pushed my make-up mirror of the ledge and it goes crashing into the tub, glass everywhere. Thank goodness it was in the tub, if it would have went on the tile floor I would have had shards of glass everywhere and it would have been h*ll to clean up. I'm praying that me breaking the mirror is not a bad sign but a good sign. A sign that maybe this year I will have broken my bad luck and will finally get that long awaited BFP! One can only hope I guess.

Today I went to the appointment thinking that it was going to be a waste of time because the spotting had finally stopped - Whew! But then ORM pulled through with the e-mail I was waiting for, they finally sent the letter asking Dr. W to do an Endo Biopsy and a hysteroscopy so I printed it off and went to my appointment in hopes that I could get the ball rolling a little quicker. They did send a copy to him but I figured if I went into the appointment with the letter he would book the appointment right away.

I get to RFP and the waiting room was fairly empty so I only had to wait like 10 minutes before they called me back to meet with Dr. W. As the nurse escorts me to the room, opens the door and I walk in to take a seat, just as she's closing the door I noticed the baby bump... Yup, in the fertility clinic. The one place you think that you can, for the most part, be safe from the baby bump of a fertile women. After she left the room my initial thoughts weren't good but then I thought to myself if she comes back I should congratulate her because I'd imagine she probably doesn't hear it much from patients struggling with IF. So when she came back into the room I congratulated her - which made me feel good - and she smiled big then hid her belly and said a quiet thanks and that she tries really hard to hide it. I'm so glad I said something to her, it not only made me feel better but I'm sure it made her feel good too. Its so sad that she has to hide it, but I understand why.

When Dr. W came in I showed him the letter from Dr H and he right away said no problem, went over the risks and the next thing I knew I was signing the consent forms to have the Hysteroscopy and Endo Biopsy done. He said that I should get the call for the appointment date within the next week or so. Guess it finally looks like this could actually be moving along but I won't hold my breath too soon.

Getting Some Blood Work Done!

I'm trying this post from my Blackberry so let's hope this works.

So I guess I'm kind of between clinics, see I had to call RFP because ever since my BFN from my last FET in February AF has been all buggered up and I've had non stop spotting. Yup, you heard that right, ever since February.

10 days ago I decided to put myself on BCP to see if it would stop and nothing changed. So I called the clinic on Wednesday and they finally got back to me today. They want me to go for some blood tests to see why she hasn't stopped yet, thank goodness. So, I'm off to get B/W done. Hopefully I'll get the results tomorrow and we can finally straighten things out.

In other news, I e-mailed the Donor Nurse at ORM yesterday about the donor we would like. I knew she was currently in cycle but who would have thought she would already have another recipient waiting... It turns out we would be third in line - providing she wants to cycle again - which would be around Sept/Oct. The nurse said she'd have to ask her but she wouldn't do that until she's had her retrieval, which should be in 2 - 3 days. After going through it myself 2 times I can't say I would be all that eager to want to do it a third time if I was in her shoes, but ya never know, all one can do is hope.

Had My Phone Consult with ORM Today

Had my phone consult with Dr Hesla and it went really well, he sounds like such a kind and caring man. Also unlike some other places he really tried to make sure that we didn't have to incur any unnecessary extra costs - could be a good thing but could also be a bad thing, I guess we'll see. Basically he was more then comfortable with allowing us to get the tests he required done here in our home town under my benefits so that was really nice.

He said that given my history he would like to do a mock cycle - which I'm totally fine with - just to see how I would respond and if my lining could produce a triple strip with the meds he wants to put me on. He would also like to get a Hysteroscopy and Endometrial Biopsy done (my RE wouldn't do one) just to check things out. The reason for this is because ever since my last two IVF cycles I have had a lot of continual - sorry TMI - brown spotting. They say that people with Endometriosis are more likly to have continual brown spotting but this is crazy! I mean it was crazy before but for F sakes!! I mean I don't even want to be intimate with G becasue it's so very embarrassing.

I also mentioned the noted hydrosalpinx on the first cycle with RFP and he said that he's going to request my HSG tests from the radiology department down here so that he can take a closer look at it for him self. He doesn't think it should be a problem which is good and then with us getting those other tests done I just feel so much better. I will however have to send him an e-mail asking about my TSH levels, I can't help but to think that my lack of weight loss is due to high levels. FX that's all that problem is because I assure you I'm not eating much at all and when I do it's basically cardboard.

I think we also found our donor, YAY!! - quick I know but I've been looking at their data base for the past month. The only problem is that for the past 2 weeks our donor has been in cycle with another couple. Good news though, is that she was a non proven donor and will now - if all goes well - be a proven donor. Bad news, is that she would be considered a proven donor, which costs more money... oh well, the piece of mind is worth it in the end. I just hope that she wants to cycle again considering this will be her first experience with injections and the dreaded egg retriEVIL. I sure won't miss the retrieval this time around but I'll be getting the pain back in the form of the lovely intramuscular progesterone and possible estrogen shots in the ASS... not looking forward to that.

I Can't Believe It!!

I can't believe it, I got home today and checked the mail and there it was, my file from RFP. I only sent the release forms to them on Friday the 18th. Wow, I seriously though that getting my file from them would have been a big struggle because it took them a week to sent a measly 17 illegible pages to ORM via fax.

So I open up the envelope and start reading through my previous IVF cycles. The first page is a letter to my GP that was typed up after our first consult at RFP that stated that a recent ultrasound (u/s) has shown a right Hydrosalpinx... they never mentioned that at our consult!?! As I kept reading it said that "This couple's infertility includes male factor" - is it wrong that I'm secretly happy that it isn't just me? lol Then I keep flipping through the pages and I notice that they didn't include my my chart from cycle one; hmm could that be because they had a question mark on it with the word hydro and they didn't want me to see it?!? Funny because I questioned them on wither or not I may have had a hydro after the first cycle based on what the doctor said at my last u/s before Egg Retrieval (ER) and they denied it. Well lucky me, ORM sent me what they sent them and that page was in there... A holes!! A part of me can't help but think that this could partially be the reason I haven't achieved a BFP yet.

I think what I'm going to do is send the file to ORM in hopes that maybe they can evaluate the entire file and decide wither or not we should do further testing into the hydro. This way I wouldn't be wasting any more time or money on something that won't work because someone couldn't do the proper tests in the first place... Just a little agitated, can ya tell.