Tuesday, December 6, 2011

I Need Some Luck To Come My Way

I thought this year would be my year, but it's turned out that it's not. See this is the Chinese year of the Rabbit, the fertile year. Well it turns out that it is in fact the fertile year because it seems that everyone around me and beyond is getting pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I'm super happy for everyone but WHEN'S IT GONNA BE MY TURN!?!?

The good news, I'm hoping, is that starting January 23, 2012 it will be the year of the Dragon. Which apparently -for people born under that sign - is suppose to be a very lucky year and it just so happens that I was born under the sign of the Dragon. So, I have yet another year to put all my dreams into another, supposedly, lucky sign. I hope

The timing of all this seems to be a good sign too because I'm hoping that we will be doing a FET sometime at the end of February beginning of March. Yaaayyy year of the Dragon.

So I ended up having to take the misoprostal early Saturday morning on November 26th, two weeks after the diagnosed blighted ovum at 7 weeks 4 days. I just couldn't wait any longer to let things happen naturally, I needed to close this chapter so I could move forward with the next chapter. I have to say, it really wasn't as scary as I thought it would be and the pain from my endometriosis surprisingly wasn't all that bad.

I haven't really talked about my dad in a long time, that's partially because he really hasn't had much change up until recently.

Last weekend my dad informs the family that he has decided to stop his chemo. A big part of me is very sad but the other part of me knows that it's probably the best thing for him. I can't blame him. He deserves to enjoy the life he does have being able to enjoy the little things in life and that I'm happy for.

At the end of the day, that's what he's chosen and as much as I'd selfishly love for him to continue with it, it's really not doing anything to the cancer in his liver anyway. So he either dies from the cancer or dies from the chemo, I'm not sure what's worse. At least this way if he's off the chemo he could hopefully have a little better quality of life as oppose to lying on the couch all day not being able to keep anything down.

I just wish things would start to look up, we need some good luck to come our way and soon.

Sent from my iPhone

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