Tuesday, December 6, 2011

I Need Some Luck To Come My Way

I thought this year would be my year, but it's turned out that it's not. See this is the Chinese year of the Rabbit, the fertile year. Well it turns out that it is in fact the fertile year because it seems that everyone around me and beyond is getting pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I'm super happy for everyone but WHEN'S IT GONNA BE MY TURN!?!?

The good news, I'm hoping, is that starting January 23, 2012 it will be the year of the Dragon. Which apparently -for people born under that sign - is suppose to be a very lucky year and it just so happens that I was born under the sign of the Dragon. So, I have yet another year to put all my dreams into another, supposedly, lucky sign. I hope

The timing of all this seems to be a good sign too because I'm hoping that we will be doing a FET sometime at the end of February beginning of March. Yaaayyy year of the Dragon.

So I ended up having to take the misoprostal early Saturday morning on November 26th, two weeks after the diagnosed blighted ovum at 7 weeks 4 days. I just couldn't wait any longer to let things happen naturally, I needed to close this chapter so I could move forward with the next chapter. I have to say, it really wasn't as scary as I thought it would be and the pain from my endometriosis surprisingly wasn't all that bad.

I haven't really talked about my dad in a long time, that's partially because he really hasn't had much change up until recently.

Last weekend my dad informs the family that he has decided to stop his chemo. A big part of me is very sad but the other part of me knows that it's probably the best thing for him. I can't blame him. He deserves to enjoy the life he does have being able to enjoy the little things in life and that I'm happy for.

At the end of the day, that's what he's chosen and as much as I'd selfishly love for him to continue with it, it's really not doing anything to the cancer in his liver anyway. So he either dies from the cancer or dies from the chemo, I'm not sure what's worse. At least this way if he's off the chemo he could hopefully have a little better quality of life as oppose to lying on the couch all day not being able to keep anything down.

I just wish things would start to look up, we need some good luck to come our way and soon.

Sent from my iPhone


  1. Big hugs to you. You've got a lot on your plate and I sure hope next year is a better year for you. Very tough I imagine to accept that your dad wants to stop the chemo but you sound like you're doing a great job supporting him in his decision - life is so not fair.

  2. I came across your blog through a series of other blogs. I've been searching for someone out there that is my age and going through was I am. IF is a lonely place.

    I'm so sorry for what you've been through recently. It's not fair. But I guess none of it is. I will hope long with you that the year of the Dragon is a fertile one- for both of us.


  3. *big hugs* That sure is a lot of not-so-nice on your plate. I definitely hope the year of the dragon is good for you and me both! (I can't believe it's been 12 years since the last dragon year!)

    I've given you an award. Please come pick it up at my blog: http://rowan6.blogspot.com/2011/12/thank-you-for-award-part-2.html

  4. Hi,
    I am sooooo sorry to hear your sad news. I am more sorry that I just read your story. I know that the outcome may have been the same, and it is too late, but thought I could offer this advice to you before your next IVF journey. If you know someone or experience a “blighted ovum” again, make sure you and your doctors know for certain before ending your pregnancy. As a result of IVF, some babies take longer to show through the gestational sac, especially via transvaginal ultrasound in early pregnancy. Although, it is unlikely, some people have had multiple instances of “blighted ovum” pregnancies. I have a relative (went through IVF) and a close friend (conceived naturally) who were both diagnosed with “nonviable” pregnancies and blighted ovum. My cousin at 7 wks 2 days had a ultrasound (measuring 5 wks 4 days-only gestational sac, no yolk sac or no fetal pole) and my friend at roughly around 8 weeks (can’t remember exactly for her, but she was told there was no heartbeat). My friend went in for another ultrasound a week later, and they still couldn’t find a heartbeat, but the baby was measuring right for its size. Being scared of the risks of having D&C, they both opted to have natural miscarriages. My cousin kept taking her progesterone suppositories, just in case there was any hope, and despite her doctor’s orders to stop all meds.

    This story is soooo long so I will just get to the point. At 11 weeks, my cousin still hadn’t miscarried and went to the ER to get assistance with inducing the miscarriage. (She was too embarrassed to go to her specialist because she didn’t stop the meds as instructed.) She explained to the nurse that she was diagnosed with a blighted ovum and hadn’t miscarried yet. During the ultrasound at the ER, the U/S tech not only saw a fetus, but also a healthy heartbeat. Her daughter, Love, was born 04-12-11. Of course, the only explanation the doctor could give was that sometimes implantation is late during IVF and if you look at the statistics, many IVF babies are born healthy, despite measuring 1-2 weeks behind in early pregnancy!!!!!!!! My cousin also had a titled uterus that probably stopped the tech from getting a good look at the back of the sac. As for my friend, she found out she was still pregnant at 13 weeks-they found the heartbeat, and her baby is due after the New Year 2012. Good luck and I am sure your next pregnancy will be a healthy and successful one. You can’t say what if and what could have been done, but in the event this happens again to someone you know, you may be able to save a baby’s life. If my cousin had believed the doctors, Love wouldn’t be here!!!


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