DE FET #1 - Portland

We landed in Portland at 10:00am yesterday, got in a little shopping then head to the hotel. We were both very exhausted because I think we only had 4 hours of sleep the night before. We did however get in out late night walk down 23rd street.

Today we got up, got ready and headed out for more shopping. Now we're on our way to Lincoln City, to hopefully see the coast and maybe a little outlet shopping.

Tomorrow is the big transfer day. I'm do excited. I pray, like ALL the other times, that this will be our time. God knows its about time something good happens in my life. The past 2 years have been horrible to say the least.

Will try to update tomorrow.

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Ready To Move Forward

Since my dad’s passing it’s been hard but I think I’m finally ready to move forward with our next kick at the can. We have a tentative date planned for a June 11th transfer, just waiting for confirmation of Dr H’s schedule. I’m so excited to go to Portland, I really do love it there.


Sorry this is such a short post but as soon as I get more information I’ll post more. I just really wanted to get back on here to reconnect with everyone again, I’ve really missed you all!!

The Fight Is Over

Today (January 8th) at 10:55am my dad passed away at the hospice.
Words can't even express how I feel right now. I am however happy that he isn't suffering anymore. Cancer sucks the big one!
Dad, you mean the world to me and I'll never forget you. Rest in peace.
Love you lots
TK
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December 2011 Recap

I wish I could finally type some good news - this is getting really old - but just when I think things couldn't get any worse I started to pass really big clots starting the evening of the 8th. Then it gradually became worse - if you could imagine - over the next week. Then on the 16th I was able to get into the clinic for an ultrasound because the bleeding/clotting just kept getting worse. After the internal ultrasound It was decided that a D&C would be the best option seeing as I had been bleeding for three weeks already.

Thank god I went in for the D&C on Friday the 16th because after I was out of surgery and back to my room my mom called me to say that my dads blood pressure had dropped to 60 over 40 - hard to believe I know but it's true - and to see if G would mind driving them to the emergency. Once he drove me home he went over to my parents place to drive them to the hospital.

The week of the 19th he was still in there and we had pretty high hopes that he would get out for Christmas but things took a turn for the worst and his blood level started going all over the place again. They had his creatinine down to 243 - which is still high but better then when he came into the hospital at 307 - but then it spiked right up to 347.

On the 28th of December the doctor told the family that there was nothing else they could do for my dad so we have to decide if we could manage to take care of him at home or send him to a Hospice. On December 31st my dad seem to stabilize enough to come home on an day/over night pass to see if we could manage to take care of him on our own. It didn't go so well. In the middle of the night he tried to get up to go to the bathroom but he's legs just stopped working for some reason. He got worse on Sunday morning and basically wasn't talking much so we figured it was probably best that we take him back to the hospital were they could better help him and then we could put his name on the list for a hospice.

Miraculously, on the morning of Tuesday January 3rd 2012 dad started talking and understanding what we were saying to him and he was also responding to our questions a lot quicker. He even had no problem getting up and walking around. I knew he wasn't ever going to get better but it was just nice to be able to have a conversation with him again. I really missed talking to him for those few days.

Thursday January 5th 2012 a bed at one of the better hospices here in Calgary became available and my dad was transported there mid morning. I have to say I'm very sad that we were unable to care for him at home but I believe that he will get the best possible care he needs at the hospice. They have such wonderful nurses that work there. It's a total difference from the hospital. The people there are so kind and caring. They are so gentle with him and talk to him like a person which makes me feel a little better about our decision.

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I Need Some Luck To Come My Way

I thought this year would be my year, but it's turned out that it's not. See this is the Chinese year of the Rabbit, the fertile year. Well it turns out that it is in fact the fertile year because it seems that everyone around me and beyond is getting pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I'm super happy for everyone but WHEN'S IT GONNA BE MY TURN!?!?

The good news, I'm hoping, is that starting January 23, 2012 it will be the year of the Dragon. Which apparently -for people born under that sign - is suppose to be a very lucky year and it just so happens that I was born under the sign of the Dragon. So, I have yet another year to put all my dreams into another, supposedly, lucky sign. I hope

The timing of all this seems to be a good sign too because I'm hoping that we will be doing a FET sometime at the end of February beginning of March. Yaaayyy year of the Dragon.

So I ended up having to take the misoprostal early Saturday morning on November 26th, two weeks after the diagnosed blighted ovum at 7 weeks 4 days. I just couldn't wait any longer to let things happen naturally, I needed to close this chapter so I could move forward with the next chapter. I have to say, it really wasn't as scary as I thought it would be and the pain from my endometriosis surprisingly wasn't all that bad.

I haven't really talked about my dad in a long time, that's partially because he really hasn't had much change up until recently.

Last weekend my dad informs the family that he has decided to stop his chemo. A big part of me is very sad but the other part of me knows that it's probably the best thing for him. I can't blame him. He deserves to enjoy the life he does have being able to enjoy the little things in life and that I'm happy for.

At the end of the day, that's what he's chosen and as much as I'd selfishly love for him to continue with it, it's really not doing anything to the cancer in his liver anyway. So he either dies from the cancer or dies from the chemo, I'm not sure what's worse. At least this way if he's off the chemo he could hopefully have a little better quality of life as oppose to lying on the couch all day not being able to keep anything down.

I just wish things would start to look up, we need some good luck to come our way and soon.

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